I think you are saying that one defender merely passed it to another defender to take it - like throwing the ball to a team mate to take a throw in.
By the sounds of it you are absolutely right - even if your other defender picks it up with his hands, the ball is dead until it leaves the box.
Some managers and referees are clueless about specifics like the above and when it comes to the situation occuring, it leaves many, as you say, confused.
Maybe you should have had asked at the end of the game what they were giving the free kick for? Maybe something happened that you didn't see?
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