I know what you mean, jerzy. We don't want kids to pull a sphinx when they lose (you may recall that when the riddle of the Spinx was solved by Orpheus, she responded by dashing herself to bits), but they should care. The problem is it we who usually care too much.
True story: I had this 8 year old girl once with the most amazing on-the-ball skills. She had an older brother who played and he'd taught her correct techniques, in fact her form could have illustrated instruction books. Anyway, I was raving to her about how good she could be, and that she could be a great player. And she looked up to me and said in a sweet, angelic voice, "But Coach, I don't want to be a soccer player, I want to be an equestrian".
You've learned something about your player. File it away and compare it with how he plays in other competitions. I'm not a great judge either, but I find it helps to talk more with the kids, which means you have to find other venues for your kids. Have a midseason pizza party, have a slumber party (esp easy if your kid is on the team), try to carpool more and be the guy who gets most of the kids. Ask the kids after the game how they feel, esp after they lose. Come up with reasons to call the kids so you get more times to talk to the parents. HTH
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