parents meeting

[dethfire]

any tips, what to talk about, how to handle parents?

[Cookie]

Originally Posted by dethfire

any tips, what to talk about, how to handle parents?

Is this for a new team just starting out? What age are they?

I think, in the UK especially, the 'Parents Meeting' is greatly under-used but is the perfect way to set out your stall and your objectives for team for the year. As well as formally managing expectation, it is also nice to have the social side of it and getting parents bonding together.

I have some documents that I have used before, but they were for new starters (like five-year-old's). If your players are of a similar age just shout and I'll send them on.

[ian.curry]

I have a parent who is also my assistant who deals with these meetings alongside takings subs and other occasional duties.
He's a straightforward guy, who won't back down to any sort of pressure and will explain things clearly from both a clubs point of view, and a parents. It means that generally I don't have to attend these meetings, although he does check the 'agenda' with me first.

In an ideal world, you would like everybody to be happy. This may not always be the case. Ensure you know where you stand and make all of your points clear before letting them make theirs - preferably after you have finished your agenda.

Most parents will agree with what you say, provided its decent(ie every kid gets a chance...), and hopefully some will come forward with new ideas also.

What you must remember is that this meeting comes at the end of their working day, they may show very little interest and just wish to know what times and where plus how much is needed.

[Cookie]

Originally Posted by ian.curry

Most parents will agree with what you say, provided its decent(ie every kid gets a chance...)

Be mindful that there are also parents out there who may not see equal playing time for all children as being a "decent" solution. I've known people take good players out of one club and move to another because the clubs objectives did not match their own, nor their childs.

However, you should seek guidance from your own committee (should one exist?) as to what the clubs policy is to selecting and utilising players. Some parents will get very frustrated with you as the coach if you are winning games narrowly and then make substitutions to satisfy a club policy of equal time for all players..........only to see the team get regularly beaten in the final few minutes.

[ian.curry]

Agreed, agreed.
Bear in mind though, that you are the manager and its your free time that you are consistently giving up. They may well get frustrated or upset at things that you do but there's a solution to that - do it themselves. In my opinion if you bend your back and rules to satisfy such parents then you aren't the gaffer.

[74offsuit]

We are assuming here, that you will lose by making those substitutions.

We won a 4-3 thriller last week and I experimented with making a sub every 10-12 mins rotaing as many positions as possible. By that I mean playing players where they were reasonably comfortable, or willing to try something new.

In this example I think it actually helped us win!

I realise this may be extreme, and as an experiment I felt it too artificial, our last match, I went for a compromise between maximising playing time, and sensible game analysis.

I just thought it worth pointing out that making subs does not necesarily mean a defeat.

[Jerzy]

I'm sensing that you have walked into a difficult situation, compunded by a numbers problem. I'm still not sure what YOUR goals are for the team and program. Before you have a parent's meeting, you have to know what you want, or you'll get crucified.

You've got too many kids and too little skills. If you constantly moan and fret about that, it'll drift into your attitude, and both your players and parents can smell the "resentment". So, try to turn this into a strength: you've got a big club, you're starting out, there's going to be a lot of experimentation. There's no history, no favorites, everyone's got a shot.

Are you into winning or having fun? (Obviously winning is more fun that losing, but hopefully you get my drift.) It sounds like you've got a club team at the varsity level and that's tough, so the scope of the program you're laying out is what you'll have to explain to your parents. You have some basic needs that the parents have to address as well: you need more balls, cones and every girl has to have shin pads and cleats. I still think you need a girls soccer parent's booster club. And then you need to have lots of time set aside for questions.

Have a good room for the meeting. I prefer a class room because its more contained, I tried a parent's meeting in the library, which looked more comfortable, but it was hard keeping everyone focused. You've got lots of parents, so it needs to be a good sized room, don't take one that's got only 12 desks (parents standing around the room will get tired and more frustrated quicker than parents sitting down, and you've got a lot to cover).

Why not tell us what you want to say first, and then get some input, since we're all making suggestions without really knowing what's on your mind.

[ian.curry]

I'm sure somebody already mentioned it to me about US junior teams being more 'professionally' run than UK clubs are(in general). It absolutely shocks me that you could be crucified by the parents if something isn't done to their expectations/wants etc.

Over here it's simple - if you don't like it, take yourself and your kid elsewhere.

[Val]

Originally Posted by ian.curry

I'm sure somebody already mentioned it to me about US junior teams being more 'professionally' run than UK clubs are(in general). It absolutely shocks me that you could be crucified by the parents if something isn't done to their expectations/wants etc.

Over here it's simple - if you don't like it, take yourself and your kid elsewhere.

Oh man, Ian, that is a complete minefield of a subject. Nothing quite like American yuppie parents to make ridiculous demands on a coach. This though, is a high school, so just upping and leaving is not really an option. But even with these girls seemingly just starting out, I bet there's a parent who thinks one of them is college-scholarship material...

Edit: actually, dethfire lists himself as being from Australia, so I don't know about Aussie yuppies...

[ian.curry]

I see the point from a high school perspective - they go to the school and I would suggest that, in some cases, the parents pay per term for their child's education.
I run a high school team also, back in September when we started I wasn't happy with 2 of the better players' attitude and punctuality, and so dropped them.
Around 3/4 months later they have swallowed their pride under peer presure and shown committment to training and are back in the team. Parents are non-existent at school matches to be perfectly honest - and I wouldn't give their complaints(if their were any) the time of day because I am completely unpaid for all the football work I do.