13 Dec 2012
A follow up on the Mark Clattenburg debacle
So the debacle and disgrace that was Chelsea football club's complaint against Mark Clattenburg has been investigated and Mr Clattenburg has been cleared by the FA. Once Chelsea football club had made the complaint, the football association were duty-bound to investigate this absurd complaint. How Chelsea football club ever had the nerve to lodge this complaint against Clattenburg is beyond the comprehension of most right-minded people. But fair play to the football association, they responded in the right manner, investigated thoroughly, and cleared Mr Clattenburg fully.
01 Nov 2012
Opinion Piece – Mark Clattenburg Investigation
According to local folklore, during the Napoleonic wars, a French ship of the type Chasse Marée was wrecked off the coast of Hartlepool, a seaside town in the North East of England, not far from where referee Mark Clattenburg originates from. The only survivor was a monkey, allegedly wearing a French uniform to provide amusement for the crew. On finding the monkey, some locals decided to hold an impromptu trial in the town square; since the monkey was unable to answer their questions, and many locals were unaware of what a Frenchman may look like, they concluded that the monkey was in fact a French sailor. Just to make sure, the animal was thus sentenced to death and hanged in the town square on the Headland.